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I had a date last night with a beautiful girl, It went well but I dont feel like I created any sexual tension. Advice?
We just went to a local brewery and had some food and some beer. Conversation flowed well, she seemed to not be able to hold eye contact for very long. It was pretty much a blind date, so at one point I asked her if she thought i was attractive (mistake?). She kinda retracts and blushes and doesnt really answer. Then i told her no worries, I just think youre really beautiful so im wondering what your impression is of me. subject gets changed and were talking about other things again. We finish our drinks and i dropped her off at her place. She says she had a good time. I wanted to try and kiss her at least before she left but she wasnt putting out any vibes or indicators that she was open to that. She described herself as shy before we met, so maybe that was it but i dont think i did a good job creating sexual tension. Any thoughts or advice would be appreciated.
You want dating advice or seduction advice? I cant tell by your story
You had a normal date, did normal things, with a shy girl.
I am going to assume she thought you were attractive enough, be it your looks or your personality. That might not be true.
The part about where you asked her if you were hot, and doubled down by saying she was?..
I dont want to say cringe, but thats not a topic I would have explored.
But it didnt really matter, because the girl told you upfront that she was shy. She wasnt lying.
Dont blame yourself for not creating sexual tension. This was a normal date with a normal guy, but the girl wasnt cooperating for reasons.
She told you upfront that she was shy, so not creating sexual tension would be the correct expectation.
The real weird thing was good conversation but poor body language on her part.
Nervous or inexperienced or autism or social anxiety disorder or discomfort? She might also be dealing with something entirely off camera.
Personally, I no longer deal with this kind of girl. Her guard will come down for me, but not everyone else. Long term, this was a burden for me. Perfect guy some other guy, not me though.
If ,and only if, you are seeing other girls, you can slow roll this one. More dates, more time spent, have to break the skin on skin touch barrier. And you have to do all the pickup artist things with minimal feedback.
Zero feedback is a tall order if you arent used to dating girls.
The other option is doing dates where it is now socially awkward for her to remain shy. A swing dancing lesson is a good example.
The danger of the fun date is that the date is fun, but she will feel no sparks towards you. (In which case, it was a waste of time.
Asking if youre attractive. Yep, mistake.
Telling her she was beautiful right after = mistake.
She had a good time = escape words.
You were being a linear male through part of this. (Most) women are not linear thinkers.
If she attempts to contact you, then theres still some embers to be re-stoked, and you get your 2nd chance.
Some people you just cant bring out of their shell, and no amount of kino, or anything else, will change that.
If you get a 2nd date, wait for the FIRST AVAILABLE MOMENT TO TAKE HER HAND. Walking through a restaurant, across the street, through a crowd, whatever….. TAKE THE LEAD and initiate a solid hand hold. If she balks on that, you have your answer. Friend zone, or youre being used.
I wanted to try and kiss her at least before she left but she wasnt putting out any vibes or indicators that she was open to that.
Any thoughts or advice would be appreciated
its possible, but hard to say from your brief story (having not observed your behavior)
bottom line: shes probably not into it. not necessarily because of you, but maybe shes just not ready or wants to go very slow (maybe too slow for you)
If a girl is not giving out vibes that make you think, Oh fuck, She wants me to kiss her, dont do it. Its part you gotta make the vibes happen and part she has to want to. Extraverted girls are better for bar dates, social settings like that. Shy girls are better for like park dates or a hike or something a little bit more lax.
Asking her if you are attractive fucked you. Girls are repulsed by the stench of insecurity. Remember that. Self confidence is what will blow up a girls skirt.
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