Jenny is a girl who loves many things. She loves street foods, traveling, nature, music, cats, and dogs! Shes crazy about purple & writing!
Now, I have to spill a secret. Ive always admired older men (not in a creepy way though). I have had crushes on my professors back in my college days. And, when I say older, I mean guys who are 1015 years older than I am and not the old retired type.
I am always drawn to them; maybe it is their maturity or the way they express their opinions on difficult topics and challenge me mentally, or it is the way they carry themselves, or maybe it is because they are already self-sufficient.
Some people tell me that I may just be looking for a father-figure, but I am not. There are a lot of good reasons why some women like me prefer older men, and I am going to enumerate some of them here.
There are many women out there who seek out and build relationships with older men, so much so that there is a term for it in the western world, the MayDecember romance. While many people may look down at couples that have a significant age gap between them, there are some very legitimate reasons why women seek out older men to have romantic relationships with.
The use of the term MayDecember romance to describe a younger woman dating an older man comes from European culture. The phrase makes use of metaphors of the seasons, with May representing springtime when a woman is her youthful best and December representing the start of winter when the man is past his prime.
Men are like wine: they get better with age. Their experiences in life, at work, and in previous relationships have taught them a lot of life lessons to make their situation better than before. They are more mature and understand that things dont always happen the way they want them to and so they are more understanding and patient with their partners.
They know what they want and they go for it. They are very confident and so they carry themselves very well, especially in public. They are generally well-mannered. They have been to several places in the past and so they know a lot of things about other cultures.
Lets face it; most women look for men who can support/contribute to them financially. It is all about practicality. When you start a family, for example, it is important that the man is able to provide security. A self-sufficient woman will not easily settle for anyone who doesnt earn at all. For some women in the poorer regions, they seek out men who are capable of supporting themselves because they are the ideal partner. They will not settle for a man who has no job because life is already difficult for them as it is and cant afford additional mouths to feed.
Now, from a logical perspective, a typical guy in his late 20s will have fewer savings, less wealth, and fewer assets accumulated compared to what hell become 20 years later. That is considering that he continued to work and save as he gets older. In this regard, an older man has enough assets and money in the bank to support a family. This is why some women go for men who have stable jobs instead of those who are still generally starting with their career when they are planning to start a family. You dont have to be rich, no, this article is not about that at all.
I am not saying that women should depend on their partner financially, no. In fact, I admire women who stand up for themselves and accomplish a lot of things on their own. But, some societies consider it ideal for women to stay at home and take care of the kids and for the husband to work to support the family.
In my opinion, older men have had their fair share of both short-lived and more stable relationships, and this gives them a bit of an advantage when it comes to handling relationships. Their previous experiences have helped them learn what women generally want and what makes women happy.
Not only do they know more in bed, but they also understand women a little bit better. They are also more sensitive to their partners needs. Older men tend to be more romantic as well. They have a good sense of humor that does not involve shaming their friends or other destructive behavior.
Just think about it for a second: older men have had the time to develop and practice their skills at pleasing women. This experience makes a big difference in comparison to younger men who have not yet put in the same amount of work when it comes to treating and pleasing women.
Men mature much later than women, and normally middle age in men is the age of maturity. This is where they seek a more stable and healthy relationship. This is the age where they usually have pieced their life altogether, and they are now ready for a more serious and deeper commitment.
Women who are tired of short-lived and immature relationships can find a more satisfying and more stable relationship with an older guy than a guy in his late 20s for example. Younger men are still at an age where they love to explore and try different things before settling on something more serious.
So, if a girl feels that she is ready to tie the knot, or if she is ready for a serious commitment and ready to start a family, a younger man in his late 20s is just not the right person for her.
When it comes to the finer things in life like wine, food, beer, traveling, and clothes, older men tend to choose the better quality ones. First, they can afford it (although it doesnt really have to be expensive) and second, they just know that it is good. I repeat, it doesnt have to be expensive. For example, my partner always tells me to buy undies made of cotton and so I have learned to make it a habit to always read the label before I purchase anything. It doesnt matter if it is $4 or $50, if it is 100% cotton (read the label carefully) it is the same quality actually.
They also know that when it comes to food and drinks, quality does not always come with a hefty price. You dont need to eat at a 5-star restaurant to be able to enjoy your food. You can find an affordable place that serves 5-star quality food and drinks with much better service as well.
Me and my partner often cook our own food when we travel. We both love going to the local market and buy our own stuff. That way we see more of the place, we talk to the locals (although it is difficult sometimes given the language barrier but the experience is well worth it) and we get to find huge deals. We also contribute directly to the local economy and thats a very good thing. We rarely go to expensive restaurants because food there is not always satisfying especially when you can both cook nice food.
When traveling, older men avoid touristy places because they know that they wont get authentic products for the right price and they wont be able to enjoy the scenery with the entire crowd roaming around. They are happy to sit in one corner where you can have all the views for yourself. Now that takes careful planning, timing, and experience. Older men as experienced travelers, know that.
I love to cook and I am very good at it, but I am still always amazed at my partner because he can cook very well. I find it very sexy when a man knows how to cook and not just a simple dish like boiled potatoes and fried eggs. I mean some dishes like beef bourguignon, potato au gratin, Indian curry, lasagna, and stuff like that.
I really admire men who can cook and fend for themselves. It is quite seldom for younger guys these days to be self-sufficient, especially in my own country. They always rely on their mothers to cook for them and take care of all their needs, and that is not my cup of tea.
They love to drink wine and beer and yes some of them smoke as well, but they know their limitations. The only time this is not the case is when they are having difficulty coping with their own problems which I believe is an exception because older men can generally handle their issues because they are mature enough to solve them.
Older men also tend to have at least one or two sports that they really enjoy doing. They maintain an active lifestyle apart from the office. They like spending their money on things like travel and spare parts for their car or bike and not on gadgets and game consoles which the younger men are more inclined to buy. My partner for example, recently bought a new GPS device from the Garmin brand and we used it when we went hiking in Greece. It was really worth it.
They also understand the need for relaxation time, and they do not feel the need to constantly push themselves into exhaustion like so many younger men. Instead, they take a more focused, laid-back approach.
I am not a party girl, and I never liked parties and big crowds in the first place. Even in my teenage years, I was like an old woman in a young womans body. Younger men tend to like parties, booze, and loud music and I just cant bring myself to relate to them even if I force it. I just dont like it.
I also dont find myself enjoying the company of younger men and talking to them endlessly because their choice of topics does not jive with my interests. I find their topics a little bit shallow for my taste. Younger men usually talk about girls, cars, technology, and gadgets. Older men, on the other hand, can talk about politics, religion, sexuality, economics, relationships, food, and travel which are exactly my interests.
Older men also tend to realize that the kind of party-heavy lifestyle many young men focus on is unsustainable and not good for ones health. This goes hand-in-hand with their focus on living a healthy lifestyle. Instead, they tend to enjoy the company of their good friends, in social settings where everyone can be heard and interesting conversations can take place.
There are a few psychological and biological reasons why women are attracted to older men, particularly women on the younger side who are still in their 20s or early 30s. From an evolutionary perspective, men can remain fertile longer, and thus an older man who has survived has accumulated more resources than a younger man.
The fact that the man has made it that far in life also is a clue that he has good genetics and robust health, making him a desirable mate. Remember, that in prehistoric times men would not live all that long, so the ones that did were more likely to pass on their genes.
In my experience, once you start dating an older man the guys within your age bracket become either immature or too dumb for you.
Some of my friends do not understand why I like older men but they really dont care as long as Im happy. People I dont know and who dont know me at all, on the other hand, are always the ones quick to jump and think I am a gold-digger. But no matter what people say, I just cant force myself to have a fulfilling and healthy relationship with a guy close to my age. Either they are too immature for me, too boring, or too serious for my liking.
I find older men to be perfect for me. My partner right now is 15 years older, and I am so happy. He is constantly supportive, and he encourages me to be the best version of myself. He teaches me how to handle my finances and how to see life in a different perspective. I too, sometimes put him in his place if he is about to go way over the top. It is a mutual respect, really.
Although it may be a bit difficult to keep up with his pace sometimes, I believe I am where I should be. I dont need to make people understand, but I want to make things clear: some women may just be too smart or too mature for younger men to handle.
While it is true that I am happily in a relationship with an older guy now, there are some potential downsides to be aware of. Older men can be insecure about their age, and so they try to date younger women to make themselves feel younger. This type of behavior is apparent right from the beginning so use some caution when youre first getting to know an older guy.
Make sure that you are able to maintain your independence and dont let him control you. This is another issue that older men may have: the need for control and power. Since they are used to doing things their way, they may struggle with having to give up some of their decision-making to you.
A healthy relationship requires mutual respect, and some older men may not be willing to give that to you. Instead, they just see you as a prize or an object. Make it clear from the beginning that you will not tolerate that type of treatment.
Another potential issue is the generation gap that exists between you and an older man. Having a large age gap of ten years or more could make it difficult to connect over shared cultural values, but dont let that discourage you! There are plenty of great older guys out there.
No, but it still depends on how old the man is.
Is it practical for a 60 year old to date a 32 year old?
By the age of 30 and above, people often have their own jobs and have been able to organize their lives somehow. They are usually self-reliant and independent, so dating a person older than 30 means that you are dating someone who has already figured out what he/she wants in his/her life. Dating someone who is self-sufficient and independent is way more practical than dating an 18-year-old who is still in school.
I am in my early twenties and I am beginning to suspect that a much older co-worker (probably in his 60s) is trying to flirt with me. He appears in the break room pretty much every time I take a break and asked me to go out to the movies with him, and I turned him down. Is he just being friendly to give me more of a social life or is he really into me? Im a bit weirded out by it and thinking I should reject him if he makes amorous intentions more clear.
I dont think a 60 year old guy would invite a 20 year old for movies if he is just being friendly. If it is together with others then it is a different story, but if it is just him and you, then he must be into you. You have the right to say no, and you can reject him if you dont feel the same way. That is the right thing to do, but of course, you need to do it in a clear but subtle manner.
I want to date a particular older man. I am 19 and he is 44 especially hes married. What should I do?
Is it alright to like guys 3-10 years older than myself?
Yes, there is nothing wrong with liking someone 3-10 years older, in my opinion.
Is it practical for a 60-year-old man to date an 18-year-old girl?
Although a 60-year-old guy dating an 18-year-old girl is not violating any laws, I dont believe it is practical, and most importantly, I dont think it is healthy. The guy should know that the girl is not mature enough to really think of the repercussions of being in a relationship with a man old enough to be her grandfather. There will be a lot of issues concerning the age difference, like mental capabilities and behavioral differences. This huge age gap in a relationship is really difficult to handle and does not work out very well most of the time. I dont think it is very healthy to invest in such a relationship.
I am a sixteen-year-old girl, I got my period at ten and matured real quick. Is it normal that I havent liked anybody under the age of thirty-five since I was about twelve? I have always imagined myself to live with someone much older; someone who can make me feel safe at night and happy in the morning. Both parents neglected me as a child when my sister was born; I have suspicions that it is just daddy issues.
Yes, it could be daddy issues indeed. It is normal for a girl to have a crush on boys that are a little bit older but older than thirty-five? No, that is not normal. I remember I had a crush on a boy two years older than myself when I was in Elementary. I had my period at 9, and I also matured real quick, but I still had a crush on boys that are close to my age. I only started liking older people like my professors when I was in college. But that was because I found most men my age to be boring and uninteresting.
I am fifteen. Is it weird that I like men in their late twenties and early thirties?
We are from different cultures, and I dont think it is weird if you only like someone. But if you are dating, I think that is a different story. If it is just a crush, then it is totally okay, but older men arent supposed to date girls younger than eighteen. So dating when you are only fifteen is really too young.
Is It logical for a 34 year old woman date a 55 year old man that was her boss?
Age doesnt matter so a 34 year old woman can date whoever she wants. She is old enough to choose for herself, and no one has a say in that matter. But of course, in matters of work ethics, the boss sometimes is not allowed to date his employees as that will violate company policies and constitute a conflict of interest. But if it is in the past tense, as long as both parties are single there is nothing wrong with that.
Im in my mid-20s, is it normal for me to like men in their mid to late 30s (as in 10 to 15-year difference)?
Yes, it is normal. Nothing wrong with that in my opinion. I was also attracted to men 10-15 years my senior.
I am a 46 year old woman, who has run a business for 7 years and I am having a relationship with a man who is 64 who also runs a business. We both get on well and make each other laugh and enjoy having close times with plenty of cuddles. Im not too bothered about what others think, and life is too short. I have positive communication with my mother and father, and they have supported me through my life. What do you think?
I think you are perfectly great and you are very much capable of managing your own life. As long as you are not stomping on other peoples feet, then you have nothing to worry. People will always have something to say whatever you do, but it is merely a reflection of theirs and nothing to do with you. So just enjoy your life the way you are supposed to.
Im 16 and my male teacher is over 30 Im not sure if I have a crush on him or not but I really have imaginations with him (not sexual) but I want to be closer with him. What should I do about my crush on my teacher? Is there any problem with my attraction to my teacher?
It is probably just a simple crush/admiration. I hope you wouldnt do anything about it for real because it is not right to get involved with a teacher. The teacher should also know that it is illegal and unethical to be involved with his students so for now, having a crush on your teacher is normal but your focus should be on your studies and friends and not him.
I am a 49 year old black woman and I have a crush for a sweet, kind and sexy high quality man who is 72 yrs old. I think he also has a crush on me because he says and does things that indicate he is interested. I have noticed all his body gestures. I think he is afraid to tell me that he likes me and Ive been thinking if I should just tell that I like him. Honestly I think I am in love with him. What should I do?
I am 20 and I think Im falling for someone who is 27. Is this too much of an age gap?
What role can I play in my partners kids lives if I am not [quite] old enough to be their parent and they are already surrounded by parental figures (him, their mom, their aunts etc.)?
Well, you can be their friend for starters. If they see you as a friend and not as an authority figure in their life, your partners kids might open-up to you, and this will lead to a good relationship with all of them.
Do I like older men because I am searching for a father figure?
Yes and no. Some people who have father issues or didnt grow up with a paternal figure sometimes become attracted to older men because they miss and seek out paternal love. It does happen to some women. But, there are also those women who seem to be too mature for their age that they cannot seem to connect with men in their age bracket. These women get bored easily with their partner, or their partner gets bored with them because they are either too motherly, too conventional, or too much of a know-it-all, so to say…
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I am like this older gentleman that I work with. There is a 25 year age gap but he is as healthy as a horse. I am 30 by the way. I seem to attract older men but this particular guy I am infatuated with. I think he feels the same way… he spends time to explain things to me and always wants to be around me and I him. We have not said anything yet, I think I will invite him out to dinner and see where it goes. My family and friends would definitely be against it, but I kinda feel drawn to him.
I am truly blessed that a younger woman wants to be with me. I wanted to know why so I Googled it & here I am. My Lovely Nanuli is 42, speaks 4 different languages, model, nurse, chef, massage therapist & she is taking physical therapy classes. I am 59 but still going strong…thank you God…LOL I really enjoyed reading this article. I did asked her why me…LOL The thing that is missing from my life is wealth. I had to start building up again my finances due to personal reason. But my lovely Nanuli knows of my financial situation but she said she loves because of my honesty & loyalty. Like I said, I am truly blessed. Thank you Jennifer for such a great article.
i met this older man about the age of 30 Im planning on visiting him at his home in nc ill be 18 by then i graduate in 2021 however i have also been attracted to older men much much older I dont know if these feelings are wrong by the way hes not married he single and respectful towards me
I couldnt agree more. This article answers my whole question about myself.
I am a 19 years-old girl with a great crush on older men. I relized this recently, that I have crush on mature celebrity like Benedict Cumberbatch, Eddie Redmayne, Colin Morgan, Johnny Depp, and others.
I dont know whether it makes sense, but this article describes me a lot.
Eventually, I find older men, are more attractive than the youngs.
Well maybe there is hope for me. Im in my 40s and havent dated in a few years ( ok more than a few) I still want a family and have some small hope of finding someone.
The few women I meet are ether single moms who have their own family, or had their children early.
Also very very few women my age seem to be physically active. Last year I rode over 1000 miles on my bicycle, Its not easy to find a 30 year old that can keep up with me much less a 40 year old.
I am 65, male, love your article. You are spot on, spot on
I agree with most of what has been said in the article. I am 25 and in a relationship with a 37 year old man. I find him to be suitable for me because he is more serious and committed than most younger guys. He is so much more interesting than guys my age because I can talk to him about a variety of topics, not just sports, video games or technology. I think as long as both parties are satisfied, age should not matter.
Hi, Im 46 and going out with a 64 year old, I dont think anything is wrong with that. Sarah, of 9 months ago seems to have a problem about older men. I am not sabotaging my life, I have had many relationships in the past and I have my own business as so does my older boyfriend. I think it is the choice of the couple and whether they are happy, thats important. Wishing everyone well.
I lost my wife a few months ago and am just now trying to get back into life. I recently met a young woman that I find very attractive. I am 77 years old and interested in a 30 something woman. I am conflicted because of the great difference in our ages. I am still pretty fit and find her very interesting. We have danced together and she seems to have fun. I feel that I need to get to know her better before I ask her for a date but though I want to see her socially, part of me says that I shouldnt because I feel that she deserves a much younger man. I would appreciate comments to help me resolve my issue.
My fianc is 21 years older than me and I love it. No silly jealousy or drama, he is calm and sensible and doesnt go out clubbing. He also wants to have a family.
One thing that is difficult though is interacting with his friends, though they are very kind and respectful. Good article!
I mean some dishes like beef bourguignon and potato au gratin and stuff like that…lol!
I have been attracted to older men a few times over the years but I avoided it. I am in my 30s now and recently met someone. Single, older, handsome but still unusual features, different race, other side of the world. I dont know if anything will happen or if we will just be friends. I dont know what to tell my mother about him. I just know sometimes he is the only person I want to talk to or see. I worry about the age gap and what people will think. But I am also the kind of person to say to hell with what people think. I agree with the author. I am not a party girl and I do find a lot of men in my age group immature. Also most older men are more romantic, attentive and encouraging.
I can only speak about me. But Im a 56 year old male and my fiancee turning 38 soon. I lost my 1st wife last year due to a terrible surgery with having A Fib and the anesthesia she was not able to recovery medical examiner has her case as pending almost a year. My fiancee went thru a horrible car accident spent 8 months in the hospital recovering while her ex spent all their life savings on gambling. Totally leaving her cleaned out over $50,000 in debt over $200,000 in medical bills. Durning this time. I met her. Strangest place we met was thru online she was an administrator for a group she created. Just a simple chat met for lunch quickly we feel in love. A year later we got engaged. Not plans getting married yet. But we love each other. I dont think age enters an equation. Because love conquers all. And while I head over heels about her. I think she is incredible, amazing not to mention very beautiful she loves how Im very positive. We been thru alot. I totally understands. But I would do anything for her. Always want to take good care of her. And she knows it. Never thought be in a relationship like this. But it happened. My 1st wive was older than me by 4 years so its not the age but its how we feel about one another. This new relationship Im very happy so is she. I love her very much. And I tell her everyday and every chance I have. But she is truly amazing. Thats my story.
I would advise to at least take your time. In general anyone over the age of thirty that rushes things gets the side eye. Besides – if its perfect love then what is time anyway?
But for real- do not get married until its been at least 3 years.
I am dating with a 32 year female, happy with her, but several of her females friends are asking questions if I wanted more children from them. However, my girl friend has not asked about the question. I do not rock the boat.
Im dating a man 25 years my senior at this point. i have never met a man who is more kind and loving than this man, we can laugh together and when life gets alot for me i can cry on his shoulder he wipes away my tears and tells me to relax itll all be okay baby. The most difficult thing we are dealing with is the opinions of my mother, she doesnt approve at all and judges because he was married twice. the first wife was a mutual agreement to divorce because they both agreed it wasnt working out, the second marriage she was cheating on him with more than one man, he tried to salvage the marriage but quite frankly i dont blame him for walking away.
we talk about our future together and he was the first one who told me he loved me, when he works night shifts he listens to the radio and sends me voice notes with love songs.
You never know how badly youve been treated until someone starts treating you right.
Love is not about Age or Distance, Its about a man giving his loyalty to his woman and his woman being loyal to her man
Most old men probably arent that good looking and are probably creepy….
Thank you so much for your comment. I am glad that you liked the article. Cheers!
Sarah, thanks for your opinion.. but it sounds as though you are still living in the past… I noticed a couple of personal comments that might have reflected your experience which is okay but it sounds like youre still holding a lot of anger and that anger is going to limit you in your decisions. I as a man apologize for whatever show called man has hurt you or changed your views… on to the article. I am 51 and my fiance is 31 we just read the article together and we totally agree. This isnt me influencing her this isnt me telling her what to do… We read this together we talked about each section and came to a unanimous decision that this article is true and correct. Well at least it applies to our life and our opinions in general. To the author of this article… Thank you we appreciated this article very much we thank you for your Insight in your experiences, this is something that we both enjoyed and it has opened our eyes in more ways… Good luck and thank you very much
Erm to be honest older men are more reliable and less immature arseholes
This article is geared so men can exploit girls and the reasons are 75 percent not true about older men, as you cannot change a person character. You women are only going to find yourselves alone one day as you are going to get past thirty very soon! Then what are you going to do? Do you really fashion your ignorance